When did we decide to stop sending Christmas cards?

I realised today that no one sent me a Christmas card. Don’t feel sorry for me. I didn’t send Christmas cards to anyone either. When I think about it, I can’t remember the last time I received a personal letter from anyone or when I last took the trouble to write one.

For many years the trigger to rush to the shops to buy Christmas cards was the receipt of the first Christmas card, late November from a super efficient friend. I usually organised an evening with my  cards, address book, pen and stamps. My old address book showed the ravages of time with its tattered pages and many alterations often marked with white out, a last century wonder corrector.

Starting in alphabetical order I pulled out the appropriate Christmas card; for the elderly Aunt, a nice religious element; for the young friend, something humorous. I would rack my brain for the name of the partner or children to put into the greeting only to give up and write ‘and family’. I would think up earnest sincere wishes ignoring the standard prepopulated greeting. Afterall, mine was far more personal. On the blank side would be updates about my year, finishing with, ‘Hope to catch up soon.’

The first ten cards were always carefully written but after getting to the “D’s”, the greetings became shorter and shorter. I dreaded the “G’s” . . . there was at least ten on that page. To save time I devised a system of dividing my cards into two. I wrote a shorter greeting to one group and a longer greeting for the other group. I deigned to give them, what we used to call, correspondence.

How did I decide who would be on the ‘short greeting’ list?
These were people who I saw all the time. They knew it was me, they didn’t need an update; they knew it already! It was people I didn’t know very well but on last meeting wanted to keep in touch; and others who warranted a card simply because they had sent one to me and I needed to reciprocate. I liked this group. The rising pile of sealed cards gave me a sense of accomplishment.

Who received a long greeting?
They were far away relatives and friends; people met via travel with the promise of keeping in contact. I kept up my Christmas card correspondence for many years with several of my travel acquaintances; and people I wanted to connect with but I had lost my way to them.
Somehow in the interest of time, my second group became smaller over the years. Sometimes I didn’t receive a card or letter in return.

Did I enjoy receiving cards?
I sure did. I displayed them proudly like a status symbol, on tinsel strung along my mantel piece. I enjoyed the envious glances from visitors who I knew were secretly wondering how I had acquired so many friends.

Why did I stop sending Christmas cards?
Was it laziness, and maybe cost? Perhaps that’s why I don’t send or receive letters or cards. When was the last time you received a letter from anyone? The best you can hope for is one at Christmas time. Does ‘snail mail’ take too long in an age of instant gratification?

So what do we do instead . . . email, Twitter, Facebook, SMS, Snapchat perhaps? But do you really write anything personal to your friends using social media? I don’t!

I wonder if the art of writing a letter or card to our friends has been lost.
Is our circle of real friends just shrinking even though we might have 800 “Facebook Friends”? Is an ecard, jib jab card or email really good enough? You can’t display it anywhere and you can’t keep it forever. Yes, I know the environment is much better off without all that extra paper. But have we just substituted it with techno gadget rubbish discarded due to obsolescence? We can recycle our cards, can’t we?

I miss the excitement of going to the mail box and finding a letter hand written with my name on it; ripping open the envelope and hungrily reading the contents with a smile, picking up a photo and admiring the writer or their family.  I miss placing the card on the mantel piece smiling in pleasure that the sender gave me more than I had expected.

Whatever the reason, it’s time to do something about it! So my New Year’s resolution is to write thoughtful and meaningful Christmas cards and perhaps a letter or two. I’ve got a whole year to get ready.

Oh To Be Perfect!

Well here goes. Here’s my first blog. I suppose that’s what everyone says.

I admit that there are lots of things I am good at and when I’m good at something it feels comfortable and safe. Who gets to see the things I’m good at or that I think I’m good at? Well my family does. They praise and defend when it’s needed. Family can be relied upon to happily tell me when things aren’t good, sometimes with sensitivity and sometimes not. Good old fashioned honesty is great except when you are at your most vulnerable.

Friends on the other hand can be guaranteed to always be optimistic and reinforce your feelings that you are good, even if you don’t always believe it.

A little self criticism usually knocks on the door when you least expect it; lying in bed just before falling asleep; driving to work or my personal favourite, in the shower.
Well, for the most part aren’t we our own worst critics? We can be optimistic and full of confidence one minute and critical and deprecating in another. Women are the harshest on themselves. For many, everything has to be perfect. To move out of the perfection zone means taking a risk and having a leap of faith that it won’t exactly fit to our exacting specifications.
So here I am bungy jumping into the world of the blog. Outside the safety net, there’s no harness to keep my rambling words from tumbling into the stratosphere of the internet. Now I know how George felt drifting off in Gravity…..the movie that is.

Forgive me and my failings to anyone who reads this.

So a little about me…..

In case you hadn’t already guessed I am a new writer. I began my first novel nine months ago and have completed the story. Is it ready to make its own way into world yet? No, but it is coming along.
That’s the thing about being perfect you have to keep at it until it is just right.